Yo...Joe! ....Not Exactly

     Let me start by saying I absolutely DESPISED the first G.I. Joe movie. People blast Michael Bay's Transformers franchise, but no one butchered my childhood worse than Stephen Sommers. The first movie was complete garbage. Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow being the only redeeming qualities. Paramount, however, made a fortune on the first installment and here we are with a sequel that few asked for. I like to think of myself as a realistic fan boy. I am OK with updates and changes to a certain degree. These characters had my love as a very young boy growing up in the 80's and I saw them all with different eyes. I am realistic in the fact that no one could perfectly recapture my childhood. It doesn't stop the director of Step Up 3 and The Justin Bieber movie from trying.

  I will warn you that spoilers will follow so read at your own risk. Most people get the concept that G.I. Joe is a highly trained special mission force. The best of the best. Cobra is the bad guy and is usually foiled at every turn by the brave men and women of the Joe Team. Retaliation takes pieces of the original cartoon, G.I. Joe: Renegades, and the comics that I barely read. The movie picks up where the first left off. I wish they would have just hit the reset button, but they even acknowledge the horribles masks of both Destro and Cobra Commander. Zartan is posing as the President and has a Cobra laced secret service. The Joes are called to retrieve a nuke and are double crossed and wiped out. Spoiler number one in 3.......2.......1.......

 
Duke is dies. The report of how he dies is spot on. Despite the hype and redone marketing, Channing Tatum is in the movie for about 23 minutes. We never really see the body and their isn't much hype surrounding it, but it happened and so did some Tatum re-shoots.  Flint, Lady Jaye and Roadblock are the only remaining Joes and thus begins their mission of retaliation. They find Bruce Willis and reunite with Snake Eyes to take down Cobra.

 How is the movie different and what went wrong...again? The story is much closer to what G.I Joe is. Chu had a better script to work with, but it still feels wrong. Bruce Willis is not needed and they still can't get Zartan right. The potential was there, but he falls short and it's a shame. He is one of everyone's favorite characters. Storm Shadow is back, but it's never explained how he lived through the last film. They reference the film, but left out key pieces of info like that. The Rock is a decent Roadblock. I think he had the look and captured a lot of what the character was, but I think most Joe fans would be upset with the movie centered around him. Flint is who everyone remembers as number two, but he is anything but a leader. He comes across as more of the Lt. Falcon character from the cartoon movie. I think the Rock is better in things like Fast Five. He is great, but it's not all about him. The movie is so much about Roadblock that there isn't much room to develop Flint or anyone else.

  Duke is a central character to the Joe myths.He is also not a Captain which drives me insane. He deserved a better send off which leads me to believe he is alive and will be back for the inevitable third installment. It feels like Tatum's re-shoots were to build a relationship with Roadblock. Funny at times, but it still felt like there was forced emotion. We as an audience are forced into believing those two were great friends. Bruce Willis adds to the unnecessary bad comedy and really doesn't need to be there at all. General Hawk, Ripcord, Heavy Duty, and Scarlett are not even mentioned. I am OK with that because they were all done so badly in the first movie that I was happy to see them gone. The film seemed to pick and choose what it wanted to remember from the first movie. So what worked?

  Cobra Commander looks and acts like Cobra Commander. He was actually cool to see on camera and I applaud Chu for nailing the character. Storm Shadow is equally cool and I was happy to see that the story with he and Snake Eyes lifted straight from the comics. The battle on the mountain was fun to watch and looked fantastic. It was a little far fetched, but that is what made G.I. Joe so great. Snake Eyes is by far the coolest character and is treated much better in this go around.

 They didn't do much with Flint, but I liked Lady Jaye way more than Scarlett in the first movie. She isn't hard to look at, but Chu seemed to get the gist of the character. Her in the dress being covert at the part is right from the cartoon. She doesn't use spears, but we can't have it all I guess. No romance with Flint, but the script didn't leave much time for it anyway.

 Firefly steals the show. He looks like Firefly and Chu got the character perfectly from what I remember. He felt like the cartoon character brought to life on the screen. The motorcycle and exploding , robotic insects are very cool. The only mistake they make with him is at the end of the movie.

 I loved the vehicles. The H.I.S.S. tank and the rest looked great on the big screen. Chu came much closer to what fans remember than what Sommers did in the first movie. Cobra Commander even uses what looks like a updated Fang copter. The vehicles also brought a lot of Joe cameos. Clutch is mentioned and it looks like other classic Joes found their way into the film. Chu also did us all a favor and lost those ridiculous black outfits from the first. G.I. Joe looks like the military unit it's supposed to be.

  It wasn't all bad. It is much better than the first, but it's flaws are big ones. I would have rather scene the M.A.S.S. Device or Cobra Island come into play, but it didn't happen. I am betting Duke doesn't stay dead. Like him or not, Tatum is a viable commodity. Chu got close. It isn't great, but I wouldn't have asked for my money back or walked out either. The thing that Chu did figure out right away is that a film without Marlon Wayans is usually a better one.  That is G.I. Joe Retaliation. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

A Good Day To.....SKIP Die Hard

   We all love nostalgia. The Expendables made us love seeing classic 80's action heroes together. The timing would be right for action films to make a comeback right? Apparently not. Arnold and Sly both gave new solo films an attempt and both failed. Now it's Bruce Willis' turn to bring John Mclane back for another ride. Big explosions, one liners, and impossible odds are all staples in this classic franchise. So how does the latest installment deliver?

   If I am being honest, It simply doesn't. John McClane is a long way from home. He is still a cop and now heads to Russia to find his wayward son Jack played by Jai Courtney of Spartacus:Blood and Sand fame.
McClane quickly discovers his son is a C.I.A. agent and gets caught up in international espionage mission. The McClane boys must team up so save the free world.

   John Moore is the new director and this time out, it's a very small movie. The trailers and plot summary would lead you to believe it is big, but it never feels like it. Willis plays a different McClane and quite frankly it doesn't play. The riff between he and his son is never really explained and John McClane seems to really be phoning this one in. Jai Courtney isn't bad, but this movie feels like a separate story that someone decided to throw, "the cop from Die Hard," into. The early chase seen is pretty cool and might be the closest thing to Die Hard that this movie gets. I say this because it borders on impossible and Die Hard was always good at that. The big problem is, after the chase is over you have to sit through the rest of the film.

   There are two great things about the Die Hard Franchise. One of them is the villains. Alan Rickman, William Sadler, Jeremy Irons, and Timothy Olyphant all gave us great villians. They were the perfect compliment to Willis over powering sarcasm and wit. The latest installment fails miserably in this department. Twists you can see coming from the beginning, the evil daughter, and the talk to much terrorist are all we get.It's not clearly enough and is the biggest disappointment of the film. I have said it before, the hero is only as good as his villain. John McClane is working with nothing here.

  The other thing Die Hard was good for, was making you root and feel for McClane. It doesn't happen here. It doesn't even feel like the same guy. John was better with a good supporting cast. He needed a Samuel L. Jackson, Justin Long, or anyone from the previous films. Courtney does what he can, but it just falls flat.

   The special effects in the end are B-Grade, the plot is sub-par, and John McClane deserves better. I enjoyed the fourth installment and this should clearly have been skipped. The movie is short and that is it's only saving grace. Greg Walton always said to never trust a big action film in February and he couldn't be more accurate here. I hope Die Hard 6 is made if for no other reason than to give John McClane a proper send off. He doesn't get it here. See a different or re-watch the previous films, but skip this.

  

Why It's Time For A Jusice League Movie?

 

  
   Comic Book entertainment is the new thing. Movies, television, and cartoons are big money makers in most cases. Hollywood is constantly trying to adapt the latest property. DC Comics seems to have a mixed bag of success when it comes to their characters. Superman and Batman being their biggest.

  The social media world we live in allows us all to have an opinion, but I feel like people spew hate just for the sake of being negative. Criticism is good, but hating simply to hate is counter productive. I decided to take a look at DC's offerings as a whole and offer up my own take.  This all comes from a comment I read from a writer named Mark Millar, he is very credible, but I took this particular comment as a bit insulting. We'll get to that later. Let's start with Green Lantern.

   Easily one of the biggest let downs for fans everywhere. Studios seem to not know when to leave their hands off of things. They have millions of dollars riding on the success of these films, but the suits are too stupid to realize when they've become too involved. The bottom line is, plot matters. Green Lantern was doomed from day one. Anyone could've seen that. Ryan Reynolds was the wrong choice and an all C.G.I. costume was a mistake. The movie had it's moments, but Reynolds never seems to take things seriously and that is the problem. Hal Jordan is not Van Wilder with a magic ring. The story was about 90 percent wrong and could never be salvaged. The setting should have stayed in space and the other Lanterns should've had a bigger role. The scene with Sinestro putting on the yellow ring for no reason was just stupid. The character isn't broken, he was just never given a proper try. You cannot ground a magic ring in realism. So don't bother trying.

    Superman is easily they most well known hero. The best of them all. The boyscout. He is arguably the toughest to bring to any screen. Christopher Reeve is the iconic version of the Last Son Of Krypton, but let's be honest, Superman 3 and 4 are nothing short of crap.  Bryan Singer was chosen to re launch the franchise and again I think story got in the way. Brandon Routh was not a bad Superman, but the story didn't help him. I liked the possibility of Clark having a son, but the lifting of the island of kryptonite was just stupid. That being said, the scene of him saving the plane is one of the greatest in any comic book film. Catching jets that fall from the sky is pure Superman. We all look forward to the next outing in this summer's Man Of Steel. I am worried, but hoping for the best. Superman isn't a dark and brooding character. Taking him dark is a HUGE mistake.

   There is no polarizing series than Smallville. Fan boys are ridiculously hard on the show and are quick to blast it at every opportunity. Let me honestly say that I love this show. I was disappointed with the finale and truth be told the entire last season. Darkseid should never been attempted on television. Smallville was entertaining. It gave us ten years of Superman. It wasn't completely faithful to the comics, but it was close and had more good moments than bad. DC has had success with their other tent pole character. The Batman.

   
    Batman had his rough spots. The Shumacher years were not kind, but Chis Nolan got it right didn't he? In a lot of ways, absolutely. The Dark Knight is the best comic book movie yet. Nolan captured the essence of who the character was, but some how managed to lose that in The Dark Knight Rises. Anybody cannot be Batman. Bruce Wayne is Batman. John "Robin" Blake is not. It's an OK movie, but Bruce would never just stop being Batman. He is driven. He is borderline psychotic. He is also too smart to lose all of his money. Alfred would never walk away either. Bruce is his life. Nolan got 2/3 of the trilogy dead on. DC will reboot Batman and please spare us yet another origin story. Even casual fans know how and why he becomes Batman. Give us a great story and move on.


  Marvel hit a home run with The Avengers. They let Whedon do it the right way. It had everything an ensemble movie needed. Your move DC.

  Mark Milllar said something to the extent of Justice League characters being dated. I couldn't disagree more. The story needs to be simple. A threat that is too big for one hero to handle alone. Marvel used it's individual heroes to launch The Avengers. DC needs to go the opposite direction in the case of Justice League. These are characters who are loved. JL Unlimited was one of the most entertaining cartoons in recent years. Martian Manhunter and Flash may be a bit more obscure, but so were Hawkeye and Black Widow. The Avengers introduced them to a whole new audience. I don't think they could carry their own movies, but it would be cool to see them along with Superman and Batman. It's also a great way to relaunch Green Lantern and Batman. The problem is two fold. The studios stray too far from the source material and fan boys are far too critical.

  The Justice League isn't too dated. It just needs to be given the right story. Producers and studios, when it comes to comic book movies seem to forget that plot matters. Marvel has done a great job with the ensemble superhero flick. Your move DC. Don't mess it up.



 








 

Hansel and Gretel....Franchise or Flop?

   Hansel and Gretel. We all remember the fairy tale, but this is certainly not a kids story. The movie takes the fairy tale characters and turns them into a brother and sister version of Van Helsing. The famous vampire hunter was not exactly a fan favorite so how do the witch hunters fare?

  The kids are abandoned by their parents and come across a cottage made of candy. The begin to eat, Hansel more than Gretel, but quickly learn that the house belongs to a witch. They survive the encounter, burn the witch, and begin a career of hunting and killing witches. They enter a small town where children have gone missing and for a price begin a quest to find the children and kill the witch.
What they find is a bigger plot with multiple witches that will teach them not only about there beliefs, but also about their past.

 

  Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton play the title characters and do a decent job. Renner's Hansel does feel a bit like Hawkeye minus the bow, but it does work. While it does feel like Van Helsing, I found it to be less silly at points. The fight scenes are top notch and most of the time I had fun with the movie.

 Famke Janssen is good as the evil dark witch, but I am not sure that she was the best option in casting. Her performance was never bad, but it came across a little too " Jean Grey Possessed" for my taste. Peter Stomare is great as the town sheriff , but is under utilized.  The weapons were straight out of Van Helsing, but for some reason I liked them better here than there. The make up and visual effect are top notch and are not over used. The movie seems to set up a possible franchise, but I am sure that will depend on box office returns. All of that sounds like a pretty good movie right?

 It's not bad, but it certainly has it's flaws. Hansel needs injections to live and the reason is never fully understood why. The over all purpose of Janssen's is a little weak. The language and gore will make it difficult to find the family audience. Most people probably won't care. The movie's pacing felt a bit rushed and because of this, you never really get attached to the title characters. It tries to have emotion, but it just falls short.

 All of that being said, I did like it. I was shocked that it was produced by Will Ferrel and Adam McKay who are best known for comedy. Obviously. What it lacks in depth, it makes up for in fun. It certainly falls short of a summer blockbuster, but grab some popcorn and forget about life for a couple of hours. It is a mash up of Van Helsing, Blade, and Snow White and The Huntsman, but if it merits another outing? I would be along for the ride.

Am I getting through......

    Hello Grandma,

       I guess it's been a little longer than usual since we talked. I'll take the blame for that, but I have been busy. It's nice being close to you and Grandpa and I promise to bring you guys flowers before Christmas. I don't know where to begin this letter, but I figured it would be easy to talk to you. You always said that you were from the "old school," and it sure seems like this world could use some of that. It's no secret that I haven't been much of a fan of Christmas since you passed. It just feels like a reminder of the fact that you're not here anymore. A little selfish, but sometimes you can't help how you feel.

      After this past Friday, I am sure there will be a few people who feel the same as me. I am not sure if you know or not, but a group of innocent elementary school kids were killed by a lunatic. Teachers did their best to protect them, but there wasn't anything that they could do. I remember when you would walk me to school from time to time. Back then I don't think anyone would even consider something like this happening. The small town removed their Christmas decorations and have been trying to make sense of the madness. I don't know if they will ever be able to.

    I am not sure you would like the world that we live in now. Schools have plans in place in the event someone goes crazy and starts shooting. The only plans the used to need were tornado and fire drills. I remember begging you and grandpa for G.I. Joe toys and now kids beg for Facebook accounts and cell phones. I forgot, you probably don't know what Facebook is. It was meant to be away for people to interact with each other, but these days it seems more like a place for people to act more immature than school kids.

  I remember you watching the news when you woke up and before you went to bed. These days the news is reported faster by the average person with a cell phone than any television network. I know, it's pretty scary. I don't think you would like the news. Negative stories seem to sell more and it feels like we don't care about "feel good stories" anymore. We are constantly being told about the economy being bad, wars around the world, and now children being massacred. I don't know if you would watch. Reporters frantically tried to track down parents and friends of dead children to get a story. I work in the media and have never been so ashamed. Human decency sometimes takes a back seat to better headlines. When did that become the norm?

  You would say that "it's a shame," and you would be right. I don't know if it's the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary or the time of year that made me think about my childhood. I remember walking the streets of Cincinnati and we went to stores and were happy to have simple things. I am not sure that the new generation understands what simple things are? The world has become a place where we are judged by our material possessions. I am not sure that people know how to treat each other anymore. I remember you used to talk to everyone when we were out. I never understood why, but when I was at your funeral I met the lady who served you your cheese coney for lunch and the grocery workers who knew you from Kroger. It's sad, but I am not sure people in the world talk to strangers very much. People now a days would rather judge them without really getting to know them based solely on the way they look.

  I remember we always tried to buy you knew clothes but you never wore them. I realize now that you always felt like there wasn't anything wrong with what you had. You wouldn't like the fact that we are judged by how good or bad we look. It's a shame. I am willing to bet that kids are more confused than ever. I had friends from all walk of life. Some were poor and others were rich. We were just kids and how we looked wasn't really a top priority. We played with sticks, we laughed, were home before the street lights came on, and sometimes we fought. We disagreed. We fought and we made up. We were occasionally bullied, but never once thought about shooting or killing the bully. Times have certainly changed.

  You and grandpa put up with a lot. I remember the only time in my life that He spanked me. I must have really been bad because he was too much of a gentle giant to ever raise a hand. You wouldn't like today's world. People don't discipline their kids the same. Parental experts will tell you how to punish kids properly, and who knows they might be right. I am no expert and neither were you, but the world was a lot safer and kids understood the concept of respect when the "experts" minded their own business. Maybe there is something to be said for picking a "switch" from the backyard.

   It is certainly a different world. There are people who are considered celebrities for reasons we will never know. When people need attention they post videos of themselves regardless of how ridiculous they look. You never even used your VCR. The world is different and even though you wouldn't like it, I would sure give anything to have you in it. I wish everyone would've experienced the simple joy that a little boy felt riding the bus with his grandma. The time spent together being worth more than any toy or materialistic thing. Coming home has made me a better person. I look at the world through eyes that have become more humble. I don't know why that is, but I have learned to be less judgemental. If I can, so can anyone. 

   Mom seems to be well and Diana is taking things day by day. I don't think I will ever look at the holidays the same. A little boy I met a couple of times lost his battle with cancer recently. He had this thing about paying it forward. I have been trying to do that. I hope you are proud of who I have become. I am certainly not perfect, but I haven't grown up yet. Seeing the city reminds me of all the good times that we had. I would trade all the presents in the world for one of those days. I might even make a video and post it on You Tube. It wouldn't mean much to other people, but it would generate a million hits from me alone. You probably don't understand what I am talking about and that's OK. We could learn a lot from the "old school." They certainly have plenty to teach us if we just take the time to listen and pay attention. Listen. Now that is an interesting concept.

   I don't know if I have ever told you thank you, but I meant to everyday. I hope you and grandpa are in a good place. Please feel free to look in on me time to time. I have a pretty good life. I am still the little boy who walked to the bus stop at the end of Ferdinand Place. The little boy who ate two cheese coneys on a plate and begged for a quarters to play video games. The little boy fought with his sister, cut your grass, and somewhere along the way learned a little bit about responsibility. I am not fine, but I'm doing OK.

Your loving grandson

 

Is this thing on ?!!

  Once again people lost their jobs in the industry that I love. It is my sincerest hope that they all bounce back quickly. We are all only as good as our last show.It truly sucks that people continue to lose jobs. I am thrilled to have been able to keep mine and I still believe in this medium. I am not sure people really understand the industry and the jobs that a lot of us do. On the outside it's glamorous. We talk to celebrities from time to time. We are part of very cool events. We play music and rarely purchase our own. We grant people huge prizes and converse with a wide variety of lifestyles. All of this while only working a few hours. Everyone wants to be a DJ right?

 There was a time a few years back when it was a true privilege to be able to "crack a mic." I still believe that it is. This industry was hard to get into. Stations ran fast and furious and clothed entire families with their logo t-shirts. We broke the artists we wanted and shelved the ones we didn't. As an industry, we were on fire. The cool thing about radio was the fact that everyday people could talk to who ever was on the air. One phone call to request a song or to weigh in on a discussion and you became part of it. Something that is hard to do with television. Radio is show business. The stuff between the records, the events, and the fact that we are the link between the everyday person and the stars. It's a cool job and I get excited talking about it still.

 People rarely get to see the people behind the music and the microphones. On the record side, the people who "push spins," constantly travel. They take calls day and night. They are always feeling like they are in the middle of a closing vice because the industry needs the next hit. They get pulled in a thousand different directions and sometimes are greeted with "what can you do for me now," instead of  "thank you."

 When the microphone gets shut off it's a different story. We all work more than 4 hours a day and our job does tend to become out lives. People believe that we make a million dollars a year when in fact, most are grossly underpaid. Some of us have lived in 5 cities in four years and others are "lifers" in the same place.
There are those of us who are paid substantial amounts of money to literally read from a piece of paper and then there are those who sweat it out for next to nothing for the love of the game.

 In 2008 the radio industry really started cutting back. Fewer people and lots of job loss. Nearly every company is guilty of it. Many do not realize that radio is a advertising business. People hate commercials, but if we don't sell enough then we don't make money. Simple formula. Radio companies made massive cuts a few years ago and they have continued. The record industry has suffered for awhile as well. Napster didn't revolutionize the industry. It mostly hurt it. I-tunes is doing the same thing. People somehow developed this attitude that music should be free or close to it. We don't buy Cd's anymore. We download songs. The record industry to is shrinking. Leaving both sides with one dreadful thing in common. Fear. We all work realizing that it could all go away at anytime. That is the reality.

 We have the honor of being let into people's everyday lives. We are ,if nothing else, disposable. It's hard for people to see what our world is like. There are plenty of haters. People who either used to work in the industry or those who never got the chance. We are sometimes told that we suck. There are always those who don't mind letting us know that they could do better. They tell us we aren't as good as the person we replaced. In some cases they are right, but it doesn't mean that we don't try to win them over day after day even if it is an exercise in futility.People think they know us because they hear our opinions, but the truth is they do not. They don't see the long hours and the difficulty that some of us face. They don't realize the fear that looms of job loss that we all face. The radio is now sounding different all the time and it's not because of the music.

It sucks that the world is the way that it is. People say that the radio DJ is a dying breed and I couldn't disagree more. The industry is changing, but not dying. There is Internet and satellite, but when most of us get in the car we listen. We listen to a group of individuals who truly love what they do. Strip away the fear, glamour, and change and you will find love. There are those of us who knew they wanted this when they were kids and others like myself who found it while looking for a path to walk. It is truly something that gets inside and doesn't. We have no "off season," and the best of us continue to provide new content daily without the benefit of writers.

  We develop a connection with people from all walks of life. We are granted the power to influence their opinions,lifestyle purchases, relationships, and what they might be eating for lunch. We come together to help those in need and we also simply just tell you what the song you just heard was. I wish that there were more like us. A group of people who truly love what they do. It is a job that is not easy to walk away from. It is not always glamorous. We are not all rich. Rude comments can sting. We are believers that our industry will see good times again. Whether by age, boredom, corporate decision, or personal choice we will eventually turn the mic off for good. All of us will remember the lives we touched along rhe ride. This is the greatest job in the world. We get to talk and are privileged that you take the time to listen.

Playing for ......Straight to video by February

  A good romantic comedy hasn't been seen in a while. Let me start over. A good "mass appeal" romantic comedy hasn't happend in a while. A strong cast, heart warming story, and the holiday season should be a recipe for success. You would think. The latest romantic comedy to cross our paths is Playing For Keeps.
Gerard Butler, Jessica Biel,Catherine Zeta-Jonesm and Dennis Quaid seems like a solid cast, but this movie centered around soccer just doesn't score.

A former soccer star who's fallen on hard times starts coaching his son's soccer team as a way to get his life together. His attempts to become an adult are met with challenges from the attractive soccer moms who pursue him at every turn. Sounds like fun, right?  It should be. Gerard messed up his marriage and now wants to win back his wife and son. Biel is the ex and Noah Lomax is the son. I can't say I hated it, but I just didn't like it.

 The problem is chemistry. I just didn't see any between Biel and Butler. The best romantic comedys have amazing chemistry between leads. Cruise and Zellwegger in Jerry McGuire, Roberts and Gere in Pretty Woman, and even Gibson and Hunt in What Women Want. Chemistry is the biggest problem with Playing For Keeps. Butler is great with the kids and it isn't miserable to watch, but you are left not really caring how it works out.

 The story may have more appeal to soccer fans, but that's it. This time I suggest watching an old favorite or just see Twilight again. Playing for Keeps just doesn't score.